Two Slaps Radio

REM - I Walked With a Zombie (Roky Erikson cover from Where the Pyramid Meets The Eye)
Gnarls Barkley - Go-Go Gadget Gospel
Soul President - Got to Have It

Nate Evens - Main Squeeze
Sound Directions - Dice Game
Gil Scott Heron - Blue Collar
Betty Wright - Pain In My Heart

Betty Davis - Gettin Kicked Off, Havin Off
The Coup - We Are The Ones
The Gems - Can't Help Myself

Gogol Bordello - Start Wearin Purple
Juez - Sitra Achra
Tabakin - Spank
Gonzalez, Feist and Dani - Boomerang 2005

Funkadelic - Adolescent Funk
Blockhead - Cherry Picker
Mad Happy - Shoulda Dissed You

The Majestic Arrows - One More Time Around
The Coasters - Charlie Brown
Ronaldo Domino - Nevermore
Ray Charles - Night and Day

Thomas Bailey & the Flintstone - Flintstone Shuffle
Ike and Tina Turner - Nutbush City Limits
Chicago Afrobeat Project - Zambi

Miss Madelaine - Behave Yourself
The Flirtations - Nothin But a Heartache

Curtis Mayfield - If There's a Hell Below

Shnitzel Hop [WZRD]

Eazy E - Neighborhood Sniper
Amon Tobin - Turbal
Atari Teenage Riot - Not Your Business

Collage:
Sprung Aus Den Wolken - Warte/Sel Still
Borbetomagus and Friends - Improv 4
Os Mutantes - Ando Meio Desligado
Deutsch Amerikansche Freundschaft - Der Mussolini

Adventure Time - Take Me Down to the Sandy Shores
Wha HaHa - On the Floor
Spin 'N Grin - Rock Saga

Link Wray - Ain't That Lovin
Cream - Blue Condition
Wild Man Fischer - Sweet Little Cathy
Nurse With Wound - The Schmurz (unsullied by suckling)
Fats Comet - Rockchester

Cut Chemist - The Garden
Der Plan - Fehlplan (Wir Sind So Mude) (from Sehr Gut Kommt)
Sam Dees - Heritage of a Black Man
Charlie Mingus - The Search

The Sick Boys - Lost City
Flagyll - Twelve Toe Piece
Zeni Geva - Nai Ha
Grimen - The Waterfull Wizard

Daevid Allen - Bananareggae
Faust - The Faust Tapes
Cabaret Voltaire -Kino

Phillip Glass - Dances No. 1 and 3
Fehlfarben - Dollars and Deutsch Marks

Two Slaps Radio

Big Boys - Funk Off
McKenzie Burns Project - Judging You
The Gems - I Can't Help Myself
James Phelps - Love is a Five Letter Word

Marie Queenie Lyons- Fever
DJ Logic - Simmer Slow
The Majestic Arrows - The Magic of Your Love
Essence - Fever (instrumental)

Eddie Bo - We're Doin it !
The Radiants - One Day I'll Show You
Black Sugar - Viajecito
Paul Kelly - The Upset

Opium Jukebox - God Save the Queen
Anandji V. Shah and Kalyanji Shah- Ganges a Go-Go

Youngblood Brass Band - Bloodshot
Black Merda - Good Luck
The Coup - Get That Monkey Off Your Back

Funkadelic - Fish, Chips and Sweat
Quincy Jones w Bill Cosby - Hikky Burr
Greyboy - Outerlude
Afrika Bambaataa - YaknowhatI'msayin

Fela Kuti - It's No Possible

Hey, you spilled Metal in my Vinyl! [WZRD]

King Diamond - A Visit From the Dead
Sodom - Tired and Red
Lard - Mate, Spawn, & Die

The Great Kat - Flight of the Bumblebee
Social Distortion - Mommy's Little Monster
Sun City Girls - The Shining Path
CHUMBAWUMBA - Ruben Has been Shot

Econochrist - Comabox / More to this Life
Vomito Negro - In Strict Tempo (part 2)
Girl Trouble - hey Mrs. Jones

Screaming Trees - Ocean of Confusion
Artillery - Khomaniac !
Syd Barrett - Terrapin

Citizen Fish - How to Write Ultimate Protest Songs
Blake Babies - Star
Naked Raygun - Holding You
The Stranglers - Golden Brown

Pop Will Eat Itself - Dance of the Mad !
Sepultera - Inner Self
Tom Waits - Telephone all From Istanbul

The Ventures - Walk Don't Run
Boom and the Legion of Doom - Dismemberment
Hawkwind - Wings

Fearless Iranians From Hell - A Martyr in Every Home
Big Dril Car - Let Me Walk
The Uptown Rhythm Kings - Oooh-Wow
The NY Citizens - Boxer Shorts

KMFDM - Friede
Dyoxen - First Among Equals
Pegboy - Method

The Fall - Mr. Pharmacist
Urban Dance Squad - Prayer for my Demo
The Rollins Band - The Dietmar Song/Black & White

God'sAcre - 7 Things to do on Speed

Two Slaps Radio [WLUW]

The Coup - My Favorite Mutiny
Madvillain - Accordion
Gnarls Barkley - Smiley Faces

TV on the Radio -Poppy
Over Night Low - The Witch Doctor
Philadelphia Allstars - Masterpiece

The Coasters - Love Potion No 9
Wax Tailor - Que Sera !!
Isaac Hayes - Truck Turner (Main Title)
Black Merda - Thats the Way it Goes

Co Real Artists - What About You (in the world today)
Ms. Tyree "Sugar" Jones - If YYou Feel Like It
O.V. Wright - Eight Men, Four Women

Bobby Byrd - I'm Just a Nobody
The Chamber Brothers - All Strung Out Over You
Rebirth Brass Band - Feel Like Funkin It Up
Shirley Bassey - Moonraker

Charles Wright - Express Yourself
Busdriver - Imaginary Places
The Pharaohs - Tracks of My Tears

Clarence "Frogman" Henry - Ain't Got No Home
Vampire's Sound Incorporation - The Lion and the Cucumber
The Mar-Keys - Last Night

Solomon Burke - Bert Russell
Massak - BLA Pt. 1

TubeGenius [WZRD]

Dan Deacon - Predator vs. Moses !
Coachwhips - Mid-Tempo Violent Dancer

Screamin Jay Hawkins - I put a Spell on You (live on Night Music)
Opium Jukebox - Supernaut
Sage Francis - The Buzz Kill

Diamanda Galas - I Put a Spell on You
M83 - A Guitar and a Heart
Supevillains - Supervillain Fanfare

The Church of the Subgenius presents The Hour of Slack

Funkadelic - One Nation Under a Groove
Prince - Performance from the Muppet Show
Gogol Bordello - Occurence on the Border

Neko Case - Things that Scare Me
Piedmont - Active Classic
Why? - Piedmont
Johnny Cash - (Ghost) Riders in the Sky

Spires that in the Sunset Rise - Rattlesnake
Adsit - Color Sticks
Perez Prado - Mambo No. 9
Northern State - The Man's Dollar

Acid Mother's Temple & the Melting Paraiso UFO - Asimo's Naked Breakfast: Rice andShrine
Minotaur - Pleasure Stench No. 1

Interview with Reverend Ivan Stang, founder and leader of the world's The Church of the SubGenius on the old Jon Stewart show

Uncle Jam Wants You! (Two Slaps Radio #12)

Ween - Freedom of 76
Billy Preston - Billy's Bag
Jackson 5 - I Want You Back (Z Trip Remix)

Amadou & Mariam - La Rralite
Amen Corner - Expressway to Your Heart

Ike & Tina Turner - I can't Believe What You Say
Prince - 200 Balloons
David 'Fathead' Newman - The Thirteenth Floor
The Chiffons - Doctor of Hearts

Bo Diddley - Road Runner
The Revlons - After Last Night
Ray Charles - Lets Go Get Stoned

Lee Fields - Let A Man Do What He Wanna Do
Miles Davis - Go Ahead John (part 2-C)
Gil Scott Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Isley Brothers - Shout
JD & The Evil's Dynamite Band - Beer (So Nice). Right On
The Undisputed Truth - Smiling Faces Sometimes (Futureshockshock Main Ingredient Mix)
Gnarls Barkley - Smiley Faces

The Coasters - Charlie Brown
Screamin Jay Hawkins - Frenzy
Toussaint McCall - Nothing Takes the Place of You

Gloria Jones - Tainted Love
Little Milton - Grits Ain't Groceries
Poother, Ultd. - Tastee Freeze

Black Merda - Windsong
Os Mutantes - Hey Boy
Phil Upchurch Combo - You Can Sit Down (pts. 1 & 2)
James Carr - Pouring Water on a Drowning Man

Quincy Jones - Groovy Gravy

I = Proud 'o This [WZRD]

Naked Raygun - Managua
Yellowman - Body Move
The Smiths - Barbarism Begins at Home

Einsterzende Neubauten - Seele Brent
The Pain Teens - The Basement !!
Shockabilly Vietnam - Vietnam/Flying

The Big Boys - Which Way To Go
Devo - Shout
Mark Stewart & Maffia - the wrong name and the wrong number
Death in June - LastFarewell !

...A Thinking Plague - The War !!!
Attrition - The Beginning of the End

Television Personalities - La Grande Illusion !
Group Sex - Nipomo
Samhain - I Am Misery

FredFrith &Henry Kaiser - It Moves
The Fall - Drago's Guilt
AlexStahl - Timbre Management

Steve Peters - Lotta Lights T'night
DaevidAllen - Pearls !!
The Velvet Underground - Stephanie Says
JFA- Charlie Brown

JFA - I Want
Big Daddy Sun and the Outer Planets - Clothes Don't Make the Man
Greg Sage - Straight Ahead
TV on the Radio w/ Trent Reznor and Peter Murphy - Bela Lugosi's Dead
Eve Libertine - Acts of Love !!!

Two Slaps Radio [WLUW]

Quincy Jones w Bill Cosby - Hikky Burr
Ennio Morricone - Allegretto Per Signora
James K-Nine - Live it Up

Booker T and the MGs - Green Onions
Jaylib - Nowadayz
Curtis Mayfield - Pusherman

Nina Simone - The Glory of Love
Devo - Midget
Lee Fields - Problems
Chuck Berry - Too Much Monkey Business

Screamin Jay Hawkins - Little Demon
The Fabulous Three - Nightbird !!!
TV on the Radio - Satellite
Themselves - Dr. Moonorgun

Greyboy - Ruffneck Jazz
Antibalas - Elephant

Shirley Bassey - Light My Fire
London Funk Allstars - Represent
Kashmere Stage Band - Scorpio
Beastie Boys - Transition
James Reese And The Progressions - Let's Go (It's Summertime)

Bobby Byrd - You Got Soul
Saul Williams - Our Father
The Pharaohs - The Pharaohs Love Y'all
Material w William Burroughs - Words of Advice

Parliament - Starchild
Pharcyde - Passin Me By

WZRD

Faust - T-Electronique (Mathias Schaffhauser remix)
Kitaro - Jouney to Adventure
Negativland - Michael Jackson

Jonathan Richmond and the Modern Lovers - California Desert Party !
Mad Parade - Second Chances
The Grapes of Wrath - O Lucky Man
Spahn Ranch - Lo nd Behold/Echoes of the Day !

Jane's Addiction - Mountain Song
The Holy Sisters of the Gaga Dada - Round and Round
Megadeth - These boots Were Made for Walkin

Elvis Hitler - Berlin to Memphis
Blind Idiot God - Dark and Light
Killdozer - Hottentot

Half Japanese - Stripping for Cash/Thick and Thin/Diary !
Pailhead - No Bunny
Borghesia - No Upanja, ni strahu

Golden Palominos - For A Few Dollars More !
Cabaret Voltaire - 24 - 24
Dead Can Dance - Mesmerism

Woody Guthrie - 1913 Massacre
Joy Division - 24Hours
Stephen Mallinder - The Devil in Me
93 Current 93 - Holy Holy Holy (for Dusa)

Feathers- Ibex Horn
Jackhammer 5 - Ten Thousand Days
Krandlebaum Monumentus - Tina Goes to the Supermarket

Big Black - The Model
Jandek - Spiritual Song

TwoSlaps Radio

Screamin Jay Hawkins - Little Demon
Col. Claypool's Bucket of Bernie Brains - Elephant Ghost
Medeski Martin & Wood - I Wanna Ride You

Fats Domino - Whole Lotta Lovin
Karl Denson - Rumpwinder
Paty - Cavalo de Pau

De Falla - Popozuda Rock'n'Roll
Johnny's Guitar - Bangasen '66
Dangermouse & Murs - To A Black Boy

Black Merda - I'm Ashamed of You
Gorillaz - Dare
Jamie Lidell - A Little Bit More
Afu-Ra - Livin Like Dat (feat. Masta Killa)
Four Tops - Bernadette

Charles Wright - Express Yourself
Cee-Lo - When we Were Friends
The Pharaohs - Tracks of My Tears

Sun Ra - Robin
Gnarls Barkley - Crazy (live on Jools Holland)
The Coup - My Favorite Mutiny

Bobby Byrd - If You Got A Love You Better (Hold On To It)
Eric Burdon and War - Tobacco Road

TwoSlaps Radio #9

Busdriver - Temporary Forevor
Elvis Costello and Allen Toussaint - Who's Gonna Help Brother Get Further
Yesterday's New Quintet - Visions

TV on the Radio - Young Liars bonus track
Carlos Garnett - Nobody Knows
Pharcyde - Passin Me By

The Coup - ShoYoAss
Black Moth Super Rainbow - Count Backwards to Black
Sound Directions - Play Car
Radio Pyongyang - Arirang

Kasai Allstars - Koyile/Nyeka Nyeka
The Coasters - Charlie Brown
Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere

Chicago Afrobeat Project - Talking Bush !
Andre 3000 - Spread
The Pharaohs - Ibo
Jamie Lidell - When I Come Back Around

Beck - Get Real Paid
S*H*A*C*K - Dish Cuts 2
Sly & the Family Stone - You Can Make it if you Try

Eve Barnum - Please Newsboy !
Ernie K-Doe - Mother-In-Law

in it to win it with the classics [WZRD]

Iggy Pop - Passenger
Bad Brains - I and I Survive
Pere Ubu - Cloud

Spahn Ranch - Swim
New York Pig Funkers - Tomato Grosso
VNV Nation - Procession

Throbbing Gristle - Discipline

Sun Ra - Other Nothingness
Talking Heads - Psycho Killer
Mister Fuckhead - Fuck*3 !
Pseudocode - The Brightness of Love and Illusion !!!

Velvet Underground - Heroin
Gang of Four - Not Great Men
Ruby - Heidi (Scream Team Remix)

Kool Keith - Lost in Space
Slim andSam - Buck Dance Rhythm
Secret Mommy - Gas Prices

DJ Elephant Power - BikeBox
The Flickering of Sowing Time
Portion Control - Psycho-BodSaves the World/Brain Scraper Death Dive

[collage]
Martin Donegan - Edgar Allen Poe's "TMs. Found in a Bottle"
Sun Ra - Music from "The Heliocentric World of Sun Ra, Vol. 1"

why aren't I dropping acid into my eyeballs? my head's bees elsewheres. [WZRD]

Time Zone - World of Destruction
Metal Urbain - Panik

House of Freaks - Black Cat Bone
The Leopards - I'm Drowning
Quintron - Caveman 5000

The Beguiled - Next in Line
Wild - Sex Junkie (Slime Skin Flick Taster Mix Skin Flix Mix)
Velvet Underground - Rock and Roll

Monks of Doom - Vs. Montana !
Fred Frith - The Turning of an Hourglass
Sarah Vaughan - Whatever Lola Wants (Gotan Project Remix)

The Ventures - Ginza Ska/ Pike
Magas - Walk Through the Dark
Thomas Dolby - The Key to Her Ferrari

Blood of Abraham - Stabbed by the Steeple
The Cynics - Abba
Pine Leaf Boys - Les Barres de Prison

Carriere Brothers - Blues a Bebe
The Marshmallow Overcoat - Walking in this World
Basokin feat. Mi Amor - Mulume

The Adolescents - Amoeba
Eyedea - September 1st
The Mekons - The Ballad of Sally

TwoSlaps Radio #7

Desmond Dekker - The Israelites
The Coup - My Favorite Mutiny
Gnarls Barkley - The Boogie Monster

David Bowie - Breaking Glass
Catalyst - Ain't It the Truth
Ike & Tina Turner - Louie Louie

The Mohawks - Dr. Jeckyll & Hyde Park
Mandrill - Peace and Love
Stanton Moore - Common Ground

Gorillaz - Dare
Foetus - Today I Started Slogging Again

The Four Tops - Seven Rooms of Gloom
Mr. Dibbs - Rhythmic Soaring
Os Mutantes - Ando Meio Desligado
James Reese and the Progressors - Let's Go

James Chance - Off Black
Blockhead - Triptych, Pt. 1
Radio4 - Our Town

Charles Wright - Doin What Comes Naturally
Mary Wells - The One Who Really Loves You
Funkadelic - Back in Our Minds

Chris Kenner - Like It Like That, Pt. 1
Liquid Liquid - Optimo
Axiom Funk - Hideous Mutant Freekz

Dinosaur L - Clean On Your Bean #1

gotta whiz-whiz-whizard [WZRD]

various artists - RadioWorm #74

Kasai Allstars - Koyile/Nyeka Nyeka #! (from Congotronics 2: Buzz'N'Rumble from the Urb'N'Jungle) #
Apartment- No. 5
Think about Life - Commander Riker's Party #

Magas - Easy to Please #
Avarus - Loylivesi #
John Jackson - Railroad Bill (from Classic African American Ballads) #

Saber Tooth - ??? #
Chris Abrahams - Lost Time Not Found Again #
Ernest Stoneman - Wreck of Number Nine (from Masters of Old-Time Country Autoharp) #

Melvins - Hoidini Lives 2005 #
Priness - Buildings

Ohsees - ??? #
Grupo Naidy - El Botellon #!
Rhys Chatham - Guitar Trio #
Secret Mommy - Gas Prices (grom Project Bicycle)

TwoSlaps Radio #6

Ween - Freedom of '76
Gnarls Barkley - Just a thought

Smokey Robinson & the Miracles - Ooo Baby Baby
TV on the Radio - Young Liars
Diana Ross & the Supremes - Love is Here and Now You're Gone
Blue Mitchell - Good Humor Man

Bobby Hutcherson - Ummh
Funky Porcini - Sleepy
Marvin Gaye - Is that Enough

Bruce Arnold - Blues for Arnie
Lou Donaldson - If There's A Hell Down Below

Bobby Hutcherson - Family Affair
Les McCann & Eddie Harris - Compared to What
Grant Green - Sookie Sookie

Ramsey Lewis - Function at the Junction
Stevie Wonder - Front Line
Bonobo - Pick Up

The Four Tops - Seven Rooms of Gloom !!!!!

Jr. Walker & the All Stars - Cleo's Mood
Temptations - Superstar (Remember How You Got Where You Are)

Why - Little Titanic

Strange Coots [WZRD]

Think Differently ft. Aesop Rock and Del tha Funky Homosapien - Preservation
An Albatross - I Will Swim into the Lazer Eye
Saturday Looks Good To Me - The Girl's Distracted (played slow)
Disrobe - Lost Rights/ Seething
Midget Parade - Zombie

400 Blows - The Biggest Hit Yet
Strange Fruit - Another Love Son
J+J+J - Bus Rider/Driver / Dobrze
Matt Miller - Goin to Hell

The Affair - Honey
Mahjongg - Wipe Out
Les Savy Fav - Knowing Howthe World Works
The Keep - She's So Wild

Exene Cervenka - Tombs
Illusion of Safety - Banished

Insect Deli vs. Madame Chao -Slavery Pt. 9
Superkools - In my Way
Japanther - Critical Circles

Gnarls Barkley - Just a Thought
Hrvatski - Une Drole De Journee
Green Velvet - UFOs

Go-Gos - We Got the Beat
Lozenge - Grychchyng & Grunting
The Like Young - I've Been Used /Tempt Me

Proper Grounds - Mind Tempest
Think Differently ft RZA & MF Doom - Biochemical Equation

Year Future - Nature Unveiled
Out of Band Experience - Warning: Danger
Alec Empire - 22:24

TwoSlaps Radio #5

Mandrill - Folks on a Hill
Masri Mokassar - Shaky Knees
Leroy & the Drivers - The Sad Chicken

Carleen & the Groovers - The Thing
Black Merda - The Way It Goes
Bigg Jus - This is Poor People's Day

DJ Logic - Eyes Open (but dead)
War - Beetles in the Bog
Rusty Bryant - Mister S

Mirwais - Naove Song
Cidinho & Doca - Cidade de Deus

Pavaneunse - Rap Pedreire Columbia

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Hollywood
Youngblood Brass Band - ???
Beastie Boys - Namaste

Seu Jorge - Tive Razao
Mickey and the Soul Generation - Message from a Black Man
Curtis Mayfield - Freddie's Dead

Tina Turner - Funkier than a Mosquito's Tweeter
Betty Harris - Ride Your Pony (from Voodoo Soul)

Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy - California Uber Alles
DJ Dolores - De Dar Do
Don - Sunshine Day

Erwan Band - Khon Muangkhan
John Coltrane - Resolution

Shummer Woeven [WZRD]

Phillip Glass- Forgetting
Dead Steelmill -Los Estados Unidos
Las Rubias Del Norte - Soledad #!

The Delmonas - I did him wrong
The Cynics - Close to Me
Big Jim Chu - Jerky Time (from Catering to the Greatest Uncommon Denominator) #
KMFDM - M&F 244

Toots & the Maytalls - 54-46
Public Enemy - Brothers Gonna Work it Out
Consolidated - Fight the Fascists
Liars - Let's Not Wrestle Mt. Heart Attack #
Patsy Cline - Back in Baby's Arms

Tom Waits - Jockey Full of Bourbon
The Fever - Curtains / Redhead #!
Cock E.S.P. - No Cock Blues (the president has no cock mix by Obscuaratron/Albee) #
Tragic Mulatto - Stinking Corpse !!

Dead Milkmen - Now Everybody's Me
Prong - For Dear Life

L. ron Hubbard & Friends - The Road to Freedom
My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult - The Days of Swine and Roses
Fugazi - Sieve

Gnarls Barkley - Just a thought
Zombies - Imagine the Swan
Meat Beat Manifesto - Dog Star

F/i - Keep the Third Eye Open #
The Yoshida Brothers - Canon #
Magas - Transgressors #

H-Bomb Ferguson & the Bluesmen - Woodpecker
Samiam - Underground

Brian Eno + David Byrne - Mea Culpa/Regiment #!
Ellen Burr - Permutations

Nurse with Wound - ???

TwoSlaps Radio #4

The Soul Clan - That's How I Feels
Senor Coconut - El Coco Baile
Charles Wright - Express Yourself

Ernie and the Top Notes - Dap Notes
as melhores do la- Urucrania
Soul Machine - Bag of Goodies
Co Real Artists - What About You (in the world today)

The Funky 16 Corners - Interlude
Gnarls Barkley - St. Elsewhere

Dyke & the Blazers - Funky Broadway
Pharcyde - Ya Mama
Funkadelic - I Wanna Know If It's Good To You

Mandrill - Peace and Love (Amani Na Mapenzi)
Kool & the Gang - Chocolate Buttermilk <--ick, too solid gold
Baka Beyond - Sad Among Strangers

James & Bobby Purify - I'm Your Puppet
Smokey Robinson & the Miracles - Mickey's Monkey
Gene Chandler - Rainbow

Mohamed Raafi - Jaan Pechan Ho
P Funk Guitar Army - Pleasure With the Dirt Devil
Franco Micalizzi - ???

Mirwais - I Can't Wait
Cruel Funk - 07
Miss Kittin & the Hacker - ???

The Detroit Sex Machines - The Stretch
The Cookies - Ruby Baby
Gloria Jones - Tainted Lve

Ozomatli - Chango
Eliot Lipp - Rap Tight

TwoSlaps Radio #3

Irma Thomas - I Done Got Over/Iko Iko/Hey Pocky Way
Gnarls Barkley - Smiley Faces
The Monotones - Book of Love

Little Esther - Cherry Wine
Boogaloo Joe Jones - Dream On Little Dreamer
Ruth Brown - (Mama) He Treats Your Daughter Mean

Konono No. 1 - Paradiso
Carleen & the Groovers - The Thing
Amnesty - Free Your Mind

Edwin Starr - Big Papa
The Blackbyrds - Cornbread
Roy Ayers - Coffy

Fela Kuti - Water No Get Enemy

Axiom Funk - Orbitron Attack

Trouble Funk - B

DJ Shadow - You Can't Go Home Again
O.V. Wright - Eight Men, Four Women

weird old cassettes and brand new cds (also weird) [WZRD]

Nurse With Wound - Nylon Coverin', Body Smotherin'
Book of Lies - Sleepily Coiled
Zen Bovine - Going Down
Tribe - Circles and Squares

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy #!!!!
IfIHadAHiFi - Ay, Paisano #
Lolita #18 - The First Gale of Spring
Mahnty Core - 12 Hits of Acid

Zombies on Broadway - Theme
Modern Machines - Rosa #
The Fever - Redhead #
Intrinsic Action - Proto-Male/Bad Jack

AKT - Prince No Deserto Vermelho #!!!
Pari Kekkonen Band - Untitled (from Wahrnehmungen Sampler 1981)
Rogalli Revival Band - Angst (from Wahrnehmungen Sampler 1981)

Urbn DK - Adjustment Center
Screeching Weasel - Inside Herself (live WZRD 1992)
USA is a Monster - The Clay People

Necktie Party - Straight Through Your Head
Birdy Nam Nam - Body, Mind, Spirit #
E.N. - Down Syndrome

The Modifiers - What I Want
Sons of John Glenn - Repeat and Fade
The Knights of the New Crusade - When Knights are Low #

Sound Collage:
Dairy of a Young Punk Audio Zine #6 !
Crawling with Tarts - Grand Surface Noise Opera Nr. 7: The Decadent Opera #

Gideon Alorwoyie and the African American Unity Ensemble - Untitled (live)
Bendeniz - Kirmizi Liber (from Turkish Groove) #
Morrissey - I will See You in Far Off Places #

Deadtech - Got Me on the Run

TwoSlaps Radio #2

[TwoSlaps Radio is the only weekly funk and soul show currently airing on Chicago radio. You can catch it every tuesday morning, from 2 - 4AM on WLUW 88.7fm]

5678's - I'm Blue
The Ikettes - I'm Blue (the Gong Gong Song)
Desmond Dekker - The Israelites

Herbie Hancock - The Melody (On the Deuce by 44)
Madlib - The Rock (Humps) #
The Counts - Thinking Single
Coldcut - True Skool

Fishbone - Party at Ground Zero
King Curtis - Memphis Soul Stew
Isley Brothers - Lay Away

Up, Bustle & Out - 1,2,3, Alto Y Fuera
Funkadelic - I wanna Know if it's Good to You
Saul Williams - ???

The Residents - This is a Man's World
Benny Spellman - Lipstick Traces (On A Cigarette)
Brenton Wood - The Oogum Boogum Song

The Beastie Boys - Namaste
Tabla Beat Science - Audiomaze
Kay Jel Ma - Bibson/Xuman (from Africa Raps)

24 Carat Black - 24 Carat Black (from Blaxploitation Vol. 2)
Jasmon - Dimdanana (from World Lounge)
Blockhead - Tryptich Pt 2

Eric Burdon & War - Paint it Black


[Eric Burdon & War doing "Paint It Black"]

Friday. Broke. [WZRD]

Hawkwind - Infinity
Coitus Int. - Under my Skin
Plastillina Mosh - Ode to Mauricio Garces
Frank Hubbell & the Stompers - The Night they Raided Minskys

R.L. Burnside - Shake Em On Down
Bomboras -Adventures Through Inner Space
Bix Beiderbecke - Lazy Daddy (take two)

Eugene Chadbourne - Misty I know You're Misty 'Cus You Miss Me When I'm Gone
Butthole Surfers - Hey
Parliament - Dr. Funkenstein

To Catch aWave - Someone Recently Stole the Front Tire
Madball - Our Family
Legendary Pink Dots - Prisoner
Klaus Nomi - The ColdSong

Klaus Nomi - Wasting My Time
Beck - Bonus Beats
Orgasmo - Sevrock
Split Lip Rayfield - Coffee

Neu! - After Eight
Naked Aggression - They Can't Get Me Down
Cabaret Voltaire - Hells Home
The Temptations - Hey, Bo Diddley

Kraftwerk - Kristallo
LarynxZillion's Novelty Shop - The Missing Link
VAST - Dirty Hole

Dean Martin - Lay Some Happiness on Me
Buckethead - Ghost
Bertolt Brecht - medley of songs from "Zeit Wirdknapp"

Klaus Schulze - Percussion Planate

Two Slaps Radio [WLUW]

James Brown - People Get Up and Drive that Funky Soul
Ronnie Foster - Mystic Brew
Shirley Bassey - Light my Fire (Kenny Dope Remix)

Gnarls Barkley - Crazy
Antibalas - Elephant

Catalyst - The Demon, Pt. 1
Gil Scott Heron - The Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Pretty Girls Make Graves - Domino

Frank Zappa with the Plastic Ono Band - Turkey
Black Merda - Cynthy Ruth
War - Four Cornered Room

Curtis Mayfield - Pusherman
Pharaohs - Damballa
Charles Wright - Take Your Time

Sun Ra - Where Pathways Meet
Pharcyde - Passin Me By
Amon Tobin - Pirhana Breaks

Greyboy Allstars - Ruffneck Jazz
Vampires Sound Incorporation - Droge CX 9 (from Vampyros Lesbos: Sexadelic Dance Party)
Madlib - Mystic Bounce

Herb Zwick - Commies Go Home
The Mohawks - The Champ

ill-fitting shorts are the new fannypack-and-moustache

Date: 4/15/06
Show: Tarantula Hill benefit at Ex-Nihilist
Price: Donation
Things I missed to be there:Second Fridays in Pilsen, Thymme Jones at South Union Arts, Radiant Darling at Bar Vertigo

Noise is a hard sell on the first warm warm Friday of the year. Despite the fact that over ten bands were scheduled to perform (about half actually did), it was a modest crowd at the former Nihilist combo. As per usual, I missed a few bands at the beginning and end. Here's what I saw.

Insect Deli sounded like she was trying to put together a broken rave and she didn't have the right glue. Forget everything I've ever said about not enjoying people fiddling with boxes, she does it right. I highly recommend listening to her new album.

Warmth was building up to something that never really happened.

Rubber Spunky sounded like two spaceships fucking in the jungle.

Pommel "sounds like Fantomas covering the score from the WPWR Power 50 Sunday afternoon mystery movie" would be a great example, except for the fact that Fantomas did something like that, and it sounded nothing like this.

Panicsville finally fixed that rave Insect Deli was fiddling with. Then he played it backwards. Then he slowed it down. Then he smashed it against Billy Side's face. The two minute set was well worth the seven month wait.

also, Rotten Milk was tweaking booty jams on his laptop in a way I dug. I left before headliner Bloodyminded started because the beach was calling to me and I couldn't be inside no more.

built on a technicality [WZRD]

Slavic Soul Party - Going Down, Looking Up
Adventure Time - The Age of Aquariums
Bobby Conn - The Homeland

Hans Grusel - Common Housefly Symphony #
Condenada - War Eternal
Insect Deli - Taste Test
Illaziam - Gling

Pleasure Forever -Czarina
Chicago Underground Trio - Protest
Negativland - The Perfect Cut

Nico - Chelsea Girls
C-Rayz Walz - 3 Card Molly
Rolf islevand - Passacaglia spontanea#

Vincent Parker - Electro Revival Squad#
Lyrics Born - Callin Out
Charizma & Peanut Butter Wolf - Methods

Ganglion - Thinning the Herd#
Little Annie - Bless Those
Eliot Lipp - Gordo
VeeDee - Midwest Tet

The Mothers of Invention -Montana
Cock E.S.P. - Take Some Ibuprofen and you Probably Won't Feel the Pain (Dixie Prix remix)
Metal Urbain - Ghetto
Fartz - Is this the Way?/Judgment Day

Error - Brains Out !
Takagi Masakatsu - j.f.p.

grotus - Up Rose the Mountain
Quintron - Miniture Breakdown
The Go!Team - Ladyflash

Fred Frith - Guitar Solos

dEAR eRIC,
Please write reviews of the following shows you've been to in the last mointh

1. Bludwulf and Disrobe at the Albion House
2. BunnyBrains, Sir Richard Bishop, Jackie O Motherfucker at Union Pool [Brooklyn]
3. The Chicago Sound, Gays in the Military, and Black Bear Combo at the Beat Kitchen
4. No Fun Fest at the Hook [Brooklyn]
5. Lord of the Yum Yum, To Catch a Wace, Nick Butcher at Mister City

i keep going to shows, but all I write are playlists [WLUW]

Pedestrian - The Toss & Turn
Eliot Lipp - Rap Tight #!
Coldcut - New Skool #

Blondie - Bang a Gong/Funtime (live)
The Contours - Just a Little Misunderstanding (from Mod Club Party)
Smack - For a Daqui (from The Sexual Life of Savages)

The Highwaymen - Highwaymen
Bad Brains - Right Brigade

Eyedea & Abilities - Act Right
The Free Design - Never Tell the World !!
Nous Non Plus - Tant Pis Pour Toi #!

David & the Citizens - Summer is No Man's Land
H.P. Lovecraft - Homemade Time Machine !
Josephine Foster - Der Konig in Thule #!!!!

Smashing Pumpkins - Cinnamon Girl
Sondre Lerche and the Faces Down Quartet - The Curse of Being in Love
Shopping - Dan-Nat-Dun-Uh (from Regime Change)

I-Attack - I-Attack
The Groodies - Carcrash
Naked Raygun - Bananacuda

Manu Chao - Clandestino
SamaraLubeski - Sister Silver #!
Felix Da Housecat - Rocketride

OOIOO - Mountain Book
Eels - If you see Natalie (live) #
Gogol Bordello - 60 Revolutions *

zZz - Godspeed
Acid Mothers Temple - L'Ambition dans le Miroir

. [WLUW]

Cocteu Twins - Iceblink Luck
The Infrasonics - The Job #
McClusky - To Hell With Good Intentions

Daniel Knox - Cake 4 #
The Capricorns - Don't Close Your Eyes #
Tom Waits - Ice Cream Man

Tortoise - Tin Cans and Twine
Odd Nosdam - 11th Avenue Freakout Pt. 2
Sun City Girls -Space Prophet Dogon

Busdriver - Unemployed Black Astronaut
Kickball - Brown #

Screeching Weasel - Anthem for a New Tomorrow
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cheated Hearts #
Doveman - Teacup !

Judas Priest - Diamonds in the Rust
Gorillaz - El Manana
Da Beatminerz feat. Wordsworth and the Last Emperor - It Ain't Enough

Kraftwerk - The Man Machine
Looper - Sugarcane
Lord of the Yum Yum - Flight of the Bumblebee

Four Tet - and then patterns
Ween - Don 't Get 2 Close (2 My Fantasy)

Massive Attack - Leave with me
Polkaholics - Polka Your Troubles Away

meh

Why? - Dumb Hummer #
Serge Gainsbourg - Initals B.B.
Medeski Martin & Wood - I Wanna Ride You

The Flaming Lips -There You Are - Jesus Song No. 7
The Business - Do Anything You Wanna Do
Billy Bragg - The Marching Song of the Covert Battallions

Velvetron - Snoozebar #
R.E.M. - I Walked with a Zombie (Roky Erikson cover from Where the Pyramid Meets the Eye)
Butthole Surfers - Earthquakes (Roky Erikson cover from Where the Pyramid Meets the Eye)
zZz - Ecstacy #

Howe Gelb - Neon Filler#
Two Gallants - 16th St. Dozens #
The White Stripes - Red Bowling Ball Ruth

Slayer - Mandatory Suicide
Dengue Fever - 1000 Tears of a Tarantula
Talking Heads - Crosseyed & Painless

Bunny Brains - Mr. Tommy (Poor henry Style)
the Bad Plus - Anthem for the Earnest
Antipop Consortium - Ghostlawns
Voices & Organs - Idle Words #2 #

Love and Rockets - It Could Be Sunshine
Sondre Lerche - You Sure Look Swell #!
Jel - All Day Breakfast

Delia Gonzalez & Gavin Russom - 13 Moons

Don't Tell Me I Look Like I need Rest, it Throws Me Off and Makes Me Feel Bad

Ghostigital - Good Morning
Chris D/Divine Horsemen - Heat from the Sun
The Residents - Lord, It's Lonely/ The Knife Fight

Fred Frith/Tom Cora - It's Fine !
White Flag - Middle Class Hell
Jody Foster's Army - Charlie Brown/ I want
The Fall - Smile (from Speed Trials)

Beastie Boys - Egg Raid on a Mojo (from Speed Trials)
Itals - Jah Glory (from Calling All Rastafari)
Yellowman - Wreck a Pum Pum

Samhain - I am Misery
Roomfull of Blues - Dressed to Get Messed Up
SVDB - Chain Reaction
Shattered Faith - Rise & Fall
Anne Waldman - Uh Oh Plutonium (from Better an Old Demon Than a New God)

Richard Hell - The Rev Hell Gets Confused (from Better an Old Demon Than a New God)

Mark Stewart & Maffia - Learning to Cope With Cowardice
Arto Lindsay - Alisa
Wha Ha Ha - Keiro no hibi
Ornament - Ulrich Susse
Beaver Harris - Land of the Pharohs

the Dogmatics - Sister Serena
The Smiths - Meat is Murder
Rapture in Baghdad - Taal
The Android Sisters - Huh?

The Deprogrammers -America
The Crucifucks - By the Door/ Oh Where Oh Where
The Ex - Blueprints for a Blackout

Billy Bragg - Weird things happen
Plasticland - Elongations

16 Bitch Pile Up - ???

Chocolate Hamentashen

Bikini Kill- Thurston Hears a Who
Holy Roman Empire - Your Side
The M's - Never do this Again

Jel - Thrashin #!
Trio - Hearts are Trump
Tarantella - Hidden track 1

Bakelite 78 - St. James Infirmary
Os Mutantes - Hey Boy
Polysics - Wild One <-Omigod, these guys get better every time I hear them

Descendents - Dog and Pony Show
The Frogs - And Now You Know You're Black
Nightmares on Wax - The Sweetest

Daniel Wang - Berlin Sunrise (from Idol Tryouts 2)
Agent Orange - Too Young to Die
IFIHADAHIFI - Chance-Medley

King Crimson - Level Five
The Pedestrians - Left on Destruction
East West Blast Test - Unwanted Inches

Johnny Cash - Wanted Man
Clouddead - Rhymer's Only Room
My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult - Do You Wanna Get Funky With Me

Pink Mountaintops - Lord Let Us Shine
Yea Big - Perverse Display of Friendship
Greenlight - Head Erased (10110)

Elvis Costello & the Attractions - Goon Squad
The Dutchmen - ??? (from their split with Velcro Lewis)

Angel Eyes - By the Time he was my age, Orson Wells had made Citizen Kane

jenny lewis has some big ass titties [WZRD]

[I regret not taping this show more than any in years]

Acid Mothers Temple - Starless and Bible Black Sabbath #

report from the protest Tom Robb at the pro immigration march

Minutemen - Glory of Man/Nothing Indeed
The White Lie - Postcard from Dachau (from Rat Music for Rat People)

Public Image Limited - This Is Not A Lovesong
45 Grave - Party (the Story of Sabine)
Battalion of Saints - Intercourse

[this set made me come]
Laurie Anderson - Song from America on the Move
The Fall - Eat Y'Self Fitter
The Effigies - A Tight Blue Cut

Out of Order - Concerned (from The Middle of America)
Aggression - The Smell (from Nardcore)
TheSplendor of Fear - Mexican Bandit
Clock DVA - Silent (from The Industrial Records Story) !
Dorothy - I Confess (from The Industrial Records Story) !!!

Root Boy Slim - 21st Century Man !!!
Terveet Kadet - Outo Mas (MaximumRocknroll presents Welcome to 1984)!
Olho Seco - Nada (MaximumRocknroll presents Welcome to 1984) !
Tragic Mulatto - Gossip

Hiller Hibber - Bass schlafen Rabe... !!
Gothic Girls - Glass Baby (MC Megamix)
Big Boys - History

Soloman Kane - Twilight Kane(from The Sound of Hollywood Girls) !!!
Couch Flambeu - ADM 12/ Last Scorpion Hunt
The Smiths - Girl Afraid

Siouxie and the Banshees - Dazzle
Helene Sage - frissons dans la cochlee (from In Fractured Silence)
T.S.O.L. - What If They Gave a War and No One Came? (from Flipside Vinyl Fanzine Vol. 1)

Butthole Surfers - Bar B-Q Pope
The Dickies - Gigantor (from Flipside Vinyl Fanzine Vol. 1)
Was (Not Was) - Ba-Lue olivar Ba-Lues Are (from A Tribute to Thelonious Monk)
Mark Bingham - Brilliant Corners (from A Tribute to Thelonious Monk)
Bitch - I'm in Love (from The Sound of Hollywood Girls)

Ghostigital - Good Morning #!

what would we do?

Mick Jagger - Music from the 1969 Kenneth Anger film "Invocation of My Demon Brother"

Itchee Fingers -
Jay Dee - Track ten from Donuts

Nico - Nibelugen
The Fall - Living Too Late
Roky Erikson - Creature With the Atom Brain

Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins - Melt Your Heart #
7 Heures Du Matin - My Generation (The Who cover from Girls in the Garage, Pt. 2)
Neko Case - Hold On, Hold On #

The Dynotones - Night of the Ghouls #
DJ Dolores - Ciranda da Madrugada #
P:ano - I felt his presents/Doing the Can Can #

My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult - Mystery Babylon
Trio Macato - Beleza! Beleza! Beleza!

The Frogs - Jewels
Scott Walker - Jackie !
Jacques Brel - Les Prionoms de Paris

The Fabulous Wailers - Tall Cool One !
The Avett Brothers - Matrimony #
Superdanger - Good Vs. Evil # <--they make me want to beat up nerds, also superdanger

New Radiant Storm King - From a Roof #

Mott the Hoople - Ready for Love/After Lights
Butthole Surfers - Goofy's Concern

Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy - Famous N Dandy (Like Amos N Andy)!
Ladysmith Black Mambazo w/ Taj Mahal - Mbube

for the love of pete, even if you hate the player, don't hate the game

So I was just listening to the Spanish hip hop and reggaeton station (93.5, apparently) and I heard a song featuring recent Oscar-winners Three 6 Mafia where they were imploring me to "shake it like a rattlesnake", which seemed a bit more of a stretch than certain other metaphors I've been invited to shake (i.e. a polaroid picture, a salt shaker, etc.)

As many of you know, I've always wanted to be a rap superstar, but I busted my flow eight years ago in a tragic rollerblading incident. After much soul searching, I've decided that I'm willing to settle for a carreer as a ghost writer for rap superstars. As such, I've decided to compile a list of shakey things.

BEHOLD!

Things That Shake or Are Shaken
maracas
dice
bottled juice
diet shakes
subterranean California faultlines
happy dog's tails
Lotto balls
Spirograph
googly eyes
the very cold
aerosol cans
jackhammers
James Bond's martinis
rattles
roll, as in shake, rattle and
epileptics, grand mal
epileptics, petit mal

I really like that last one, check this out:
"Shake it like a petit mal, come on and swallow that tongue"

Things That Do Not Shake in and of Themselves, but Bend, Twist, Fold or are otherwise Stretched Out (i.e. "that Laffy Taffy")
bendy straws
a paycheck
the time we have on this planet
waistbands
Plasticman
joins, ball-and-socket
joints, hinge
space age polymers
chewed gum
joy buzzers
Chubby Checker
Twister, the Milton Bradley foreplay game
Twister, the Bill Paxton/chick from"Mad About You" weather-adventure film
folding chairs
fresh laundry

that one works as well:
"Fold it like fresh laundry bitch, I wanna Snuggle"

please forward this to any and all famous rappers you may know. thank you.

that hippie shit

[note to self: rip all these albums,burn all these cds, everything kicked taint]

Genesis - The Return of the Giant Hogweed
Finch - Pisces

Billie Holiday - body and Soul
David Bowie - See Emily Play
The Electric Prunes - Sold to the Highest Bidder -!!!
Brian Auger's Oblivion Express - The Sword

Lou Reed - Take aWalk on the Wild Side
Mandalaland - Determination
Tomorrow - Three Jolly Little Dwarfs

Polysics - I My Me Mine #
Yid Vicious - A Vicious Bulgar
Measles Mumps Rubella - Algorithm of Desire

Sly Stone - I get High on You
The Other Half - Feathered Fish (Country Joe & the Fish Cover)/Flight of the Dragon Lady
Paul Horn + Nexus - Somba
Paul Revere & the Raiders - Good Thing

Tic Code - exembox #!
Kraftwerk - Airwaves
The Jimmy Castor Bunch - Drifting <--song sucked ass, had to cut it, but flowed seamlessly into....
Dewey Redman - Seven and One

the Deviants - Billy the Monster
the Kinks - Sweet Lady Genieveve
Frank Zappa - Rudy Wants to Buy YezaDrink

Patti Smith - Gloria
Surrealistic Pillow - 3/5 of a Mile in 10 Seconds
Gil Scott Heron and Brian Jackson - The Summer of 42

Gabriel Bondage - Babylon 5
Mutantese Arnolpho Lima Filho - Top top

Eric Burdon & War - Paint It Black

a lovely day in chicago [WLUW]

the frogs - and now you know you're black
the coctails - alderaan
the melvins and jello biafra - caped crusader

the feelies - let's go
the chinese stars - cheap city halo
gal costa - mamae, coragem (from Tropicalia: Ou Panis Et Circencis)
the hells - he's the devil !


[the all local all awesome set]
orso - milanesa two !
colossal - i'll look at you when the dying starts !
hirudin - matthew, what the fuck

inch worm - nowhere bound #!
beans - you're dead, lets disco !
nick cave & the bad seeds - cannibal's hymn

the pixies - cactus (live)
bakelite 78 - willie the chimney sweep
the firebird band - obsessive compulsive

the pedestrians - wire to wire #
tapes 'n tapes - buckle #
silkworm - penalty box !
genders - slip into the nightcrawlersclub

k-os - the love song !!!!
le tigre - don't drink poison
lsd march - rokoku no honu

the '89 cubs - oh, the things we put in our heads
tortoise and bonnie prince billy - thunder road
liz janes - wonderkiller !!

johnny cash - we'll meet again

a night on the town

or "unnecessary weekend party wrap up, pt. deux"

1:10: I love you but I must bid you ado. The wonderful people are trickling from the Glamarchist Benefit. The rum is gone.
1:15: Why is my phone not working> I always pay my bill. Can I use yours?
1:30: The Twinkie Party looks like it was a thing not to be missed. Nevertheless, it ended promptly at one. The only people I know are the only people under thirty. They are poets, all three of them. They are also the only blacks and hispanics at this cavernous place, and they were kicked out more harshly than I.
1:45: Hi Ramon, what's up? You're at a party, where at? Oh, the people are assholes? Maybe I'll see you there. I'll call you if there are better things to do.
1:46: There are better things to do.
2:00: We arrive at the Monkey Haus, or what once was the Monkey Haus. Never trust a place with bouncers that look different than the rest of the crowd.
2:01: I decide to play with them.

Bouncer: Show me your hands [the nails are bitten, they are unmarked]
Me: What's goin on in here?
Bouncer: Five bucks.
Me: [coy] What for?
Bouncer: What do you think? [the last time I paid five bucks, it was for an Anarchist legal defense fund, and also beer. I don't think that's the case here]
Me: Well. I want to know if it's worth it. [I want a sales pitch]
Bouncer: Look... [and he's looking mean] I'm not here to accomodate you.
Me: [Wondering how close I am to getting hit] What an odd thing to say. Am I going to have fun?
Bouncer: Look [he is defeated?] it's crowded and sweaty, there's good music, beautiful women, and shitty beer that 'll cost too much because you don't know anyone.
Me: Here's five.

2:05: Alex is here. This is nearly a given.
2:07: His name isn't Marat?
2:08: This is an afterparty for some band called The Gaylords which features suckbags from lameass bands Kill Hannah, Local H, and the Smashing Pumpkins. I do not see any local celebrities I know/hate/recognize, they are probably all doing blow at the VIP party downstairs.
2:10: A cute, boyish lesbian type nods to me on the dance floor. I nod back.
2:12: Cute, boyish lesbian type is really trying to work my dick with her ass on the dance floor. Uh oh, I think.
2:13: Cute boyish lesbian type starts kissing my neck.

Me: Umm, I gotta go. I'll be right back.

2:14: Me: So, what's the deal with drinks.
Bartender: We got beer left.
Me: Cool, I'll have one.
Bartender: [pouring already] That's three bucks.
Me: I don't have it.
Bartender: Well ya gotta give me something if you wanna drink.
Me: What's the least I can give you?
Bartender: Three dollars.
Me: Lady, I ain't never had a beer at a house party worth three dollars [although technically, this is a loft]
Bartender: [incredulous] Really?

2:17: I walk in a small circle, Cute Boyish Lesbian Type finds me.

Me: Drinks are fuckin expensive here.
CBLT: Yeah, you wanna go fuck?
Me: Um, I can't.
CBLT: Why not?
Me: I'm trying to be monogamous. It' like, a trial thing I need to see if I can do [Why do I say this instead of something like, 'I'm in love' or 'I'm really not into you'? I think I'm trying to sound cool and noncomittal. I hate that I do that. Also, it's the same answer I give when people ask me why I'm not eating red meat this month]
CBLT: That sucks.
Me: Yeah, I guess, but not really. What's you're name?
CBLT: Mike.
Me: Nice to meet you, Mike [perhaps Cute Boyish Lesbian Type is actually Cute Girlish Gay Guy Type. It doesn't matter]

2:25: Fight between two very tall, pretty effeminite hipster boys wih bad haircuts. It is broken up too quickly for my tastes.
2:26: Dance awkwardly.
3:10: DJ plays "Sex on Wheels (Motor City Remix)" by My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult. I dance awkwardly but with much more force.
3:15: D.J. Demchuk rolls me a cigarette. As a nonsmoker I have had very few cigarettes and the ones I've had were of the mass produced variety. This tastes plain and harsh in comparison.
3:20: So long suckers.
3:30: I am a much better tipper when my girlfriend is in the car. I'm not a bad tipper, but as a former waitress and dater of Indian men, she respects cab drivers and people who rely on tips for a living more than I do. At the same time, I am not a shitty tipper and have him drop me off a few blocks from home so I can give him that much extra money.
3:35: Nick is looking for typewriter stores in the phonebook. I like living with him.
4:00 Write blog, dick around online, go to bed.

I am happy with this evening. I am proud of myself for my restraint but I expect that I will get some shit from Sarah for letting Mike get close enough to kiss me. I have had a wonderful friendfilled week. It is somewhere around my tenth annversary of writing and for two shows this week, I broke out a dusty old book of poems spanning the many phases I've gone through. I'd like to thank Chris Basaraba, Christian Duckworth, Meshell, Sam, Deanna and Breanna for coming out to the In One Ear on Wednesday, anyone who took the time to actually look at my photos at Inventive Expression yesterday or listen to my poems at A Cold Day in the City tonight, all the people I just met, anyone who reads my blog, and especially Sarah for dragging her ass out to nearly every performance I have. I know that a lot of what I do isn't particularly most of your cup(s) of tea, but I spend a lot of time working on it and I feel really good about myself when you give it a chance. Namaste.

post script - in the initial typing of this blog, I wrote 'monogamous' as 'monotonous'...hello, Doctor Freud!

scratches and pops [wzrd]

klaus nomi - nomi song
second step - oppurtunity (from Hit and Run: New york Beat) !
sturm group - fetish
la muerte - ecoute cette priere/make it easy

poi dog pondering -wood guitar
snatches of pink - midway
cro-mags - then and now
baaba maal & mansour seck - muudo hormo

borghesia - she is not alone (sonic youth cover?) !
sturm group - fetish
spanking bozo - tell you something (from Maniacs from the Motor City)

o.v. wright - to you i shall cling (from Deep in the Soul of Texas)
the citations - that's what it is (from Deep in the Soul of Texas)
zaar - ce n'est pas triste # !
morcheeba - over and over

greater than one - i don't believe in god
occasional detroit - tse tse fly
tragic mulatto - hardcore bigot scum get stabbed i say !

the wedding present- Vasa Vasyl'ok !
big audio dynamite - start !
les thugs - dead dreams
big trouble house - getting near the end

red hot chili peppers - magic johnson
frontline assembly - prayer
kinothek percussion ensemble - a rumble (on the track)

crazyhead - jack the scissorman
twang bang - ten feet tall

agnostic front - liberty & justice
suicide - wild in blue
typewriter - let the bomb go
kmfdm - rip the system

am syndicate - kicking a sailor in the teeth #!
lao kouyate - ppt les amis

all while talkin to some asshole on coke [WLUW]

lard - 70s rock must die
i need sleep - natural disasters
the creeps - down at the nightclub

the ranchgirls & the ragtime wranglers - if you don't love me somebody else will (Wanda Jackson cover from Hard Headed Woman)
cat power - love & communication #
brian wilson - mrs. o'leary's cow
ariel pink's haunted grafitti - hardcore pops are fun

onyx - slam
the 88 - hide another mistake
the fall - bo demmick

stiff little fingers - no more of that
gabby la la - be careful what you wish for
dosh - rock it to the next episode
pharcyde - passin me by

the ramones - pinhead
vashti bunyan - here before !
ween - israel !

swearing at motorists - northern line #
bakelite 78 - dark eyes !
the faint - hypnotised (from Lagniappe: SaddleCreek Benefit for Hurricane Katrina)#

brad peterson - nine #
orange juice - falling and laughing
talib kweli - get by

blondie - atomic
farm crew - do it all again (from The Chicago Drop Vol. 1)

small change - atmofear #
kmfdm - you're no good [technical difficulties...oops]
the photo atlas - the walls have eyes #

sham 69 - hey little rich boy
ghislair poirier - refuse to lose
kadaa & patton - pilie mes larmes !

already been chewed

my favorite TV show, based on what I watch the most regularly, would have to be World News Now. It's a lightweight news magazine that airs on ABC from like 1:55 to 4:00 in the morning, in between the rerun of the local nightly news and the similarly titled World News This Morning. It runs for a little less than an hour and repeats two-and-a-half times. The only thing I can really say in its favor is that wacky banter and entertainment news makes up less than ten per cent of each broadcast and that the newscasters or veejays or whatever the fuck you're supposed to call them don't give a fuck if I know who tthey are. For all I know they switch the smiling guy and ethnic girl every week and send the old ones back to the mailroom. Whoever they're using, they're familiar, can easily be placed in the background, and are far less unpleasant than the locals.

They just had some music industry dick with a sandblasted face and a Pat Riley haircut talking about the new acts to look for.

I hate when magazines like Rolling Stone and Spin do shit like this and I hate when TV stations do it. It's really easy to predict which 'underground' acts are going to make it when you're already privvy to who the labels have decided they're going to pour money into, and when you only need one or two of the artists to actually make it to pat yourself on the back a year later.

So they've got this man, who looks a little like a lizard who's got it in with the Brooks Brothers and he's talking about Matisyahu (who's already got songs on mainstream radio) and he says

It's all about the forelocks, not the dreadlocks with this guy

and for some reason that pisses me off. I think because it's a catchphrase, a catchphrase that no one would actually use. Not only that, but it's a catchphrase that was just a little too clever for this reptile. Some executive ordered it up and told him to say it. Obviously.

There's also something a little sinister about it, like finally, reggae without all those Jamaicans!

I'm fine with Matisyahu being a novelty act; he does some good shit and if novelty is the only way people are gonna hear it, that's fine. My sister was playing the cd for my Dad today. He hates reggae but he loves giving Jewish musicians a chance (as opposed to, you know, liking reggae while not being that fond of black people). He couldn't jive with his fellow Tribesman though, pondering for a second and saying, "you know, if Bob Marley had a couple of rockandroll Latinos, maybe a guitarist and a timbale player from Santana's band, I probably could've dug his music."

I was reading one of the Rolling Stone's my dad keeps around the can. Another music industry dick was talking about Matisyahu:

and Matisyahu's got some real reggae credibility, we're not talking about Snow, here!

That's another thing that sounds clever and in-the-know when some asshole tells some other asshole about it, but anybody who listened to Snow's album (the admittedly terribly-titled "12 Inches of Snow"), they would see that Snow wasn't just faking it. Snow came off as Vanilla Ice ..2, but he wasn't. His music hasn't aged well but he was serious about his reggae, working with cats like Ninjaman and Junior Reid. The reason he was dismissed so quickly is that half his album was much reggaer than his single "Informer" and half his album was poppier (think K7 and the Swing Kids).

Nevertheless, here are things I like about Matisyahu, that have nothing to do with music:

1. He's got a beard that no one else but Will Oldham or ZZ Top would leave the house with.
2. Because of his extreme, adopted orthodoxy, he has taken concessions that guarantee a poorer performance, i.e. refusing to do shows on Friday nights, not stagediving out of fear that he might come in contact with a woman he's unrelated to, not signing women's autographs for the same reason.
3. He's obviously not in anybody's pocket
4. His upcoming album with Bill Laswell will either develop his guitar heavy rasta sound or deepen the dub elements (though really, I think he should be working with someone like Manu Chao who could get some interesting shit out of his vocals)
5. Any Jewish-identified rap that can be taken seriously as real hiphop is a step up from Hip Hop Hoodios, Blood of Abraham, Remedy and the goofball JewBu dreck the Beastie Boys put out on 11/12ths of their last few albums.

still, he's not the best

I've been on a serious white-guilt, racial aggression trip lately, but it seems kinda suspect to me that Matisyahu is becoming a staple with the khakis-and-sandals crowds at dorms everywhere (see: Dave Mathews, Jack Johnson, and John Mayer, who isn't entirely terrible). For years, the familiar sounds of Bob Marley's Legend album have plagued quads and residence halls across the country. It's become nothing less than cliche but until now, no reggae crooners have come along to carry the torch.

No classics like Toots & the Maytals, the Wailers, Desmond Dekkers, Lee Perrys, or Peter Toshes. No 2-tones or third wavers like the Specials or the Skatalites. No crooners like Barrington Levy or Max Romeo. No scatmasters like Eek-A-Mouse or dubmasters like Lee "Scratch" Perry and Sly & Robbie.. No rap hybrids like Beenie Man, Just I.C.E. or Mad Lion. No dirty motherfuckers like Yellowman. No Pato Bantons or Mad Professors or Buju Bantons, most-if-not-all of them, better than Matisyahu and at least as good as Legend.

I want to decry the racial element, the inherent country clubbiness of the Greek System, but I've been doing that a lot these days and I don't want to be a one-trick pony. It's not most frat boys fault that they like reggae but have never heard it. Perhaps, it is just that none of these artists were lucky enough to have a record exec box them into a neat little phrase.

But please, please, don't call that forelocks

International Noise Fest

Cost: Free
Things I missed to be there: Nothing, absolutely nothing, at lease not in Florida.

The biker looked to be somewhere in his forties or fifties. His arms were full of tattoos and none of them looked new. Picking his gums with a curved blade, he turned to looked at me. "This shit ain't music...this is noise pollution." I shrugged. "I work on engines all day. Motorcycles. HARLEYS. They ain't half as loud and sound twice as pretty.

My Mom is one out of a litter of seven. When her folks moved from New Jersey to Florida, all but two of their kids followed. Every year since I was born I've taken at least one trip a year to South Florida. Boynton Beach. Boca Raton. Ft. Lauderdale. There's never really anything to do there, and whenever I find something, I end up getting myself in trouble. In twenty-three years I've never seen a good show in the Panhandle. It finally happened today.

I'd like to give a shout out to the nation of Wizards who made it happen. I was talking to Skateboard Dan Demchuk, who happened to be from Florida, and was asking me what I was doing over the weekend. When I told him I'd be in Florida, he said, "That's awesome! [WZRD dj] Rotten Milk is playing a show in Miami this weekend."

The show was The International Noise Conference, organized by To Live and Shave in L.A.'s Rat Bastard. Nobody could tell whether or not the name was a joke, or just ambitious, as there weren't any performers from outside the country. It took place in this fantastic dive bar Churchill's in the middle of Little Haiti. Churchill's was everything that places like Exit could be but aren't. It wasn't trying so hard to look all punk as fuck. It was just fun (after lookingitt their piece of shit website, I was more than hapilly surprised. It claims to be an authentic English pub. I'm willing to believe it, because outside of the red, black, and white facade and the burnt out double-decker buses in the parking lot, there wasn't a damn thing in the place that was English, and I kinda doubt that a traditional(e) English Pub would be as Anglocentric as the ones you'll see in Lincoln Park.

The front room was bright, too bright for a bar. It looked like it had once been a diner and had been shut down and incorporated into the rest of the bar, which was dark and wonderful. There was a bartender who was beautiful. An Amazonian I couldn't look at directly for fear that she was reading all the disgusting thoughts in me. She had a tattoo hat started in her cleavage and went...somewhere. From what I could see, it was just two curved lines that formed a mock shadow, making her tits look even more pronounced. There were two well-stocked jukeboxes in the front, and one out back but nobody played anything but the Clash. Fenced in, behind the bar, was another bar. Every surface was tagged with big murals. Most of them were new, and done in a spray-can anime noir style, one was an old, hand-painted New Orleans piece full of joyous, dancing skeletons.

I got there at around ten and the show was already half-over, which is fine by me cause ten-plus noise acts in a row is more than I could tolerate on even the best days. As far as I can tell, this was what I saw:

2:00 - Dynasty (Providence RI)
1:45 - Otto Von Schirach
1:15 - Can't (Boston)
1:00 - Taiwan Deth (Nashville TN)
12:45 -Temple of the Bon Matin
12:30 - Projexorcism (Asheville, NC)
12:15 - Heart2Heart (Providence RI)
12:00 - Leslie Keffer (Athens OH)
11:45 - Mouth Pet (Nashville TN)
11:30 - Brian Miller & Kevin Shields (Los Angeles)
11:15 - Donna Parker (Boston)
11:00 - Unicorn Hard On (Providence RI)
10:45 - Social Junk (Baltimore)
10:30 - Newton (Philadelphia)

The show was everything you could expect from a good noise show held at an actual venue with a license to worry about. Wires snaking in and out of mysterious directions, battling reels of 8mm found footage, homemade clothes and percussion, on-purpose ugly people with terrible haircuts and body odor*, animal costumes, headaches, etc.

From what I can tell, I got there just as Valerie Allen was finishing up some droney vocal stuff and Newton was starting. Newton's set consisted of a guy in a bee costume beatboxing what sounded like the soundack to a Darren Aronofsky film about strangling puppies.

The highlights of the night (for me) were Social Junk and Temple of the Bon Matin. They were both fairly jazzy noise bands. Social Junk brought as big a ruckus as I've ever seen done with an amped clarinet. Temple of the Bon Matin reminded me a lot of Lozenge, percussion-wise. They had a number of huge pieces welded together that they played wiyh intense, pounding synchronicity. I think I veer towards more traditional bands at these kinds of shows. It seems to me that, unless you're a genius or a savant, you can'd do anything with electronics that I would classify as anything other than cool. There's just so much more that a number of musicians working together can do.

Some other notable acts were Brian Miller and Kevin Shields. Brian wrapped tape from person to person around pipes, merch tables and light fixtures before starting a ferocious pit and attempting to destroy everything on the wobbly table his kit sat on. Their songs ended whenever the power strip got knocked loose and started as soon as they could be plugged back in. Donna Parker sang over a repetitive beat, something that bordered on trip hop. She did some beautiful stuff with her voice but I couldn't understand what the shit she was saying. Her act was this shy/coy sultry geek spazz thing. It's probably a good thing I couldn't hear the lyrics. It's cynical to say, but I can't remember the last time I heard a good lyric in concert.

There was one other thing. Shuttle Lounge. Shuttle Lounge was the band playing the outdoor patio. I needed them. In their first set they were for funny looking guys, think a guy who looks like a skinny Jeff Lebowski, a guy who looked like Don Ho dressed up as Elvis for Halloween, a guy who would've been a shoe in for the Fat Boys if they wanted a Mexican, and a quiet bass pleyer who looked like Deepak Chopra's younger brother. They played country and rockandroll. The mexican guy came on to every girl who walked in front of him and flashed the "Have A Nice Day" tattoo on his ass for anybody that put a dollar in his pocket. They played a lot of funny songs and a lot of classics. I lost my shit when they played a straightforward country version of the Outkast song "Caroline" from the Love Below (later they played "Hey Ya" though, and it sounded a bit too Weird Al for my tastes. I would've left a few hours earlier if it wasn't for them. I needed the melody and the humor to break up the monotony of noise noise noise. What can I say? I'm weak. At least now there's one place I can go to the next time I'm in Florida,

my ears are burning with VD, i refuse to play love songs [WLUW]

tom waits - goin out west
tarantella - southern cross
lemon jelly - in the bath

nullsleep - level 2 (from VGM Mixtape # 8)
the monks - shut up
ira! - la fora pode ate morrer

paul kelly - the upset (from Eccentric Soul: The Deep City Label)
mf doom - vomitspit
they shoot horses don't they - seeds

chrome - zombie warfare
my barbarian - ryan (police psychic)
alice cooper - below your means

tuung - no man can find the war (from Dream Brother:The Songs of Tim + Jeff Buckley) #!
piglet - plastic stars, cotton highways #
frigg - meltaus

beige - the rhythm! the message? (from Check the Water: Leaf Compilation 1995 - 2005)
klaus nomi - lightning strikes
erwan band - khon muangkhan (from Thai Beat A Go-Go Vol. 3)

waterdown - recruit
the ex - apathy disease

jason forrest - stepping off !
stone jack jones - smile #!
the gourds - shake the chandelier #

bill janovitz and crown victoria - mary kay

the elected - did me good #!

2/3/06 [WZRD]

dove rock - designer gasmasks (from The World Can't Wait: Chicago)
don drummond + drumbago - stampede ( from Calling All Boys And Girls)
skatalites - independent anniversary ska ( from Calling All Boys And Girls)
dj /rupture w wayne lonesome - dem nuh know me

fab two - virgin boy
kingdom scum - articulate your screams !
dave bartholemew - get down blues

leaf - step aside
sir mix a lot - aunt thomasina
the mysterians - lullaby of the leaves

shockabilly heaven - when you dream about bleeding !
ghost - coming home
the fall - states, slags, etc.

dufus - wutcolors
aids wolf - the hat collector #
bushido - high rise *

clarence "gatemouth" brown - jumpin the blues
wanda sa - medicatao
the bombay ducks - carnival courtesy of a daughter

beton combo - ???
chrome - my time to live
hawkwind - assassin (remix by zion train)
east west blast test - unfantastic voyage #
yoko ono - mrs. lennon

varttina - synti (the sin) #
material - ghost light/dread recall
ten-ton - dick joke (revised)

ravi shankar - raga simhendra madhyamam

basic food group - perdurabo

Another Saturday Night

Dear Chicago hippie ravers,
leave your goddamn hula hoops at home before I find a way to kill you with them.

I'm angry this week. The rest of this blog is bitching.

Something weird happened the other day. I wasn't able to get into a show. This isn't because I have any clout or anything, it's just I don't go to many shows other people want to see, let alone shows at venues I can't sneak into somehow (this building was airtight), or that care about capacity violation issues. I thought getting into a Gays in the Military/Billy Carter Band/Functional Blackouts/ Mudqueens show all the way over at 5600 W. Belmont would be a piece of cake. Somehow, I underestimated the power of titties.

The Mudqueens are a group of women who hold charitable mudwrestling events to benefit various women's issues (empowerment, self defense, shelters for victims of abuse), all with a live trashpunk soundtrack. So with clean shoes and an ill temper I went to a genderfuck glamarchist party. The boys (bois?) were all hairless and naked and the whole first floor was dancing. This is where I learned something about myself: I can't dance to Modonna. It wasn't for lack of trying either. The theme was Madonna. It wasn't danceclub Madonna, Madonna with Mirwais, Madonna with William Orbit or anything, this was Madonna singles from the 80s and 90s and I tried for a good half hour to dance to them, only to find that I could not appreciate her music on a sincere or ironic level. No matter what I tried, I couldn't find a groove, so I left and hit up the EE loft.

We got there just as EE was playing their last song. We danced to the best of our ability (which was very good as my roommate and I can jive to EE much better than we can jive to Madonna). Then they stopped. Then the hula hoops came out. Dozens of them. It was, I was told, a hooping party. Even so, I was lacking in hh skills and I wasn't alone. There were not enough hoops to go around and people were getting hurt. Apparently hula hoopers do not care about what is around them and have no qualms about walking right into you with a giant spinning disc. These same assholes also seem to need hula hoops that have a diameter of at least five feet. Now I have no problem with hula hoopers. Some of my best friends are hula hoopers. I don't know why I seem to lose hip control whenever I am ringed, but I do and I'll never be one myself. Still, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that anyone who thinks they're too good for a regular size hula hoop in a crowded room is an arrogant cocksucker who should be shot in the face. My roommate, herself a hooper, did not seem to mind, I said it was time to go.

The last stop before burrito heaven was a black light party at Transamoeba, which carried a hefty ten dollar suggested donation even at 3 in the morning. Suggested that is. Except for the size, which was not-spectacular but well-utilized, it had all the makings of a rave: ample water, trance music, backrubs, skeezy white guys, a chill nook, a dance floor that was half prop-exhibition, et cetera. But something was off. These people were the biggest assholes of the night. It was like the entire party consisted of only-childs who refused to share their toys.

Tania, lacking a hula hoop, asked the guy holding the only pair of glowsticks in the room if she could twirl for a minute or to. The guy sent her to the girl who lent them to him, who proceeded to give us the crossest stare I've ever seen at a place where people were rolling. Tania did her tricks for a minute before she has the tubes of toxic gel snatched from her hands. We exchanged glances, stole some beer, and moved on to the next toy. Some men and women were showing off for the circle they forced around them by twirling weighted squares of fabric. Tania begged. More cross stares, and a few warnings not to "fuck up our fabric." Tania got to do this for a whole minute-and-a-half before one of the pieces of fabric touched the ground and she was scolded.

"Do you even know what the fuck you're doing?"

Apparently, there was some skill involved. I could notice a slight difference in what they were doing and what she was doing but not enough to brag about. It was some wack bush-league rhythmic gymnastic bullshit anyway. Tania and I exchanged glances, stole some wine, and moved onto the last toy: a huge bouncy ball covered in rubber nubs like a sea urchin. Tania and I began a game of catch that required us to dance whenever we weren't holding the ball and incorporate every toss and catch into a dance. A few other people joined in. The first was an overrly-aggressive breakdancer. He was harshening flows and invading personal space, but who were we to remove him? It wasn't even our ball. Next to join was a little guy who showed obvious concern about what the breakdancer was doing. He pretended to play happily alongside us until , out of nowhere, he looked around snatched the ball and, faking passes to us the whole time, backed off into lord knows where. We'd had it. These were the least friendly ravers we'd ever encountered. It was time to go.

I've never had so much fun and gotten so pissed off consistently over the course of an evening.

p.s. I missed Eleanor Balson's shows Saturday and today and that blows. I missed her (as Soft Serve at Heaven) on Saturday because of the aforementioned gobbledygook and I missed her today (opening for Bobby Conn and the Detholz as the drummer for Lovely Little Girls) because it just plain sold out. That sucks. Eleanor is a great person who I only kinda know (so I guess I can only call her kinda-great for sure). She's leaving town indefinitely for a new life on the left coast and I wish her the best.

p.p.s. Leslie from E.E. is exempt from whatever I said about hula hoopers because she doesn't abuse her privelage. Plus, when she does that thing where she plays an upside-down saxophone and hoops at the same time, it's damn sexy.

That is all.

only one sub-par song [WLUW]

lead in: twelfth gate - mortal coil

chicago underground quartet - tunnel chrome
death comet crew feat. ramellzee - extreme st. (protein version) (from Anity NY: Early 80's Underground & Contemporary)
amadou & mariam - m'bife blues

nausea - extinction
martin denny - the girlfriend of the whirling dervish (from Mondo Exotica)
john p. strohm - nobody wins (from Don't Let the Bastards Get You Down: A Tribute to Kris Kristofferson) #

the replacements - here comes a regular
crush kill destroy - metric midnight #
dj zinc - 138 trek (from Vital 2 Step)

the gossip - coal to diamonds #
the germs - we must bleed
wire - strange

otto von schirach - smelly mustard
aids wolf - we multiply #
low - anon (spore) (Neotropic remix)

tekulvi - tetrahedron
fantastic plastic machine - beautiful days
catfish haven - you can have me [<--the only shitty song of the night] #

the dead milkmen - surfin cow
tarantula - esqueletos [<--song of the night!!!] #
the gourds - hooky junk #

[popular indie pop set for all the moms out there set]
the clash - london calling
portishead - western eyes
the smiths - girlfriend in a coma

pink floyd - interstellar overrdrive
novasonic down hyperspace - no continents

pendable, posable dolls of meh

date: 1/27/06
wheres: Reversible Eye, the Ice Factory
whos: Mucca Pazza and contortionists, Pkdores
cost: 5 beans
what I missed: Daedalus, Elliot Lipp, Slicker Six8 the Shocker, and the dude from Telefon Tel aviv at Sonotheque
why I went: I thought I wouldn't miss the animal acts, when do I get to see animal acts?

Chicago is starting to get weird again, in that anything-is-possible way. It's cyclical, I think. It feels like it did in 2001, when Buddy Gallery opened up and the Azone moved into the Congress Theatre Building, when Fred Burkhart, Bopcamp, and the Peoples Republic of Delicious Food showed me just how much you could get away with in this city. It feels like it did in 1999, when Environmental Encroachment, the Nervous Center, and WZRD changed my way of thinking about the city I live in. It feels like 1996, when the Fireside Bowl was a home away from home and every time I got off the train in a new neighborhood I would find adventure. The last few years have shown an extremely dedicated party scene, but it looks like more people are interested in putting on decent shows these days, in various parts of the city, and with more challenging juxtapositions of performers/

So I finally saw Mucca Pazza, my third favorite marching band in the city, which is not a slight in any way. While their music isn't as doesn't get my feet moving as quickly as Environmental Encroachment or Black Bear Combo, there's something to be said for sheer scale. Now Reversible Eye Studios, the part that's open to shows, is just one not-so-big room, and it would probably seem crowded with twenty five people inside. Mucca Pazza consists of over twenty musicians and two cheerleaders, all wearing costumes that fit somewhere between a high school marching band's uniforms and those of Civil War infantrymen (North and South--and for the record, I'm pretty sure the Confederacy would have won if they had cheerleaders; have you seen the girls at the schools down there?) I'm pretty sure I've only seen that many (active) people on stage once, and that was a Parliamentfunkadelic type thang, and when I saw P-Funk they were at an actual venue with an actual stage. Reversible Eye has more of a raised platform, about 3 feet by 5 feet. Obviously, the band spilled over, and the room was pretty packed. I kept waiting for the cops to show and hoping they didn't. Maybe that's why they got everything over with so quickly.

It was impossible to dance without slamming into people, so most people didn't try (as it wasn't exactly a slam dance type of thing). Mucca Pazza's music was standard brass band funk, but there were a few stand-out numbers. One song was a whistly, Ennio Morricone funeral march that could have, and might have, come straight from "The Good, the Bad, & the Ugly". Another was all surf. It was pretty breathtaking to see twenty-some people playing surf music, but even moreso to see them get quiet. I would have liked for it to have gone on longer, for there to be one of those songs where one-by-one, everyone in the band gets to solo (P-Funk did it) but it never happened.

Next up were the Bendable Posable Dolls of Doom, who are part of the Aloft Aerial Dance Troupe. They were billed as contortionists but their act was more of a burlesque gymnastics routine. I don't know if it was their name or their reputation but they drew a pretty thick crowd from the Nocturna set. After a couple dozen pro-girl/grrl/womyn burlesque shows, their somersaults and suspensions weren't that impressive, despite the dayglo wigs and pleather bikinis. This might have been my fault though, since I missed the first set where founder Shayna Swanson did her aerial stuff. Worst of all, I missed the "Amazing Acro-Cats", featuring trained cats doing tricks.

Everyone seemed pretty surprised when they found out the show was over. We stood around, smoking and pining aimlessly before heading to the Ice Factory. We missed most of the bands, including Dancing Knuckles, whom one of my friends described as "Irish, without too much of that Boston sound." The last band up was Pkdores. Two years ago, when they had a saxophone player, they were one of my favorite bands in the city. They were really sloppy, with a high pitched sax that couldn't always keep up and could never solo, leading the way. They sounded a lot like the X-Ray Spex (earning them the title, the Mex-Ray Spex behind their backs), but their sound stood out a lot from the rest of the Pilsen/Little Village scene. They've tightened up a little since dropping their sax player. Their guitarist is far more prominent, and he's good, but they just don't seem that special in comparison. Oh well, these things happen. That show ended early too, but I was already drunk. I guess it's time to go to bed.


A clip of Mucca Pazza at Lollapalooza 2006]

poof [WZRD]

the streetwalkers - downtown flyers
israel vibrations - we da rasta
the hangman's beautiful daughters - something about today
band of outsiders - what goes on
c-rayz walz - the essence

daedalus - greatly exaggerated, our demise
the orb - komplikation #
pedestrians- in the end #
vertonen - deplete to ruination, the wide shift

the defoliants - rectal inferno !
shockout - rootsman/he-man: killer
amon duul - nada moonshine
stan getz and joao gilberto - corcovado

tarantula a.d. - prelude to the fall #
genders - clothesline mimes #
ween - doctor rock
coldcut - everything is under control (return of the underdog)

the bad plus - let our garden grow
bunny brains (another) glass of milk
neurosis - belief !
streetlight manifesto - everything went numb!

noah creshevsky - vol-au-vent
beats r us vs jay-q - sextramental (from Mother Tongues) !
glitter pals - lovepump's birthday song #
magas - lovecompressor

vaz - sink the swan #
hr - youthman suffer (dub)
men's recovery project - stubble #
jackie o motherfucker - bone saw

chiks all around; at least it started out alright. i don't blame the songs [WLUW]

nouvelle vague - guns of brixton (clash cover) !
Tabakin - spank (from The Chicago Drop) #!
martin denny -swamp fire !
emperor x - right to the rails

thunder! thunder! thunder! - the sounds of leisure (from Homemade Hits Vol. 2) !
supervillains - eternia's greatest
gza & ras kass - liquid swords (from Wu Tang Meets Indie Culture)

tortoise & bonnie 'prince' billy - daniel (elton john cover) #3
elkland - i never
daft punk - human after all

autechre - ipacial section
aids wolf - panty mind #
radiant darling - familiar

bakelite 78 - it's a sin to tell a lie #!
andre afram asmar - scientism
ariel pink's haunted graffiti - life in l.a. !

boduf songs - grains #
22-20's - devil in me
i need sleep - my girl #
zZz - ecstasy !

screeching weasel - the science of myth
stnnng - ready the replicas #
drekka - exactioning
big jus - everything must coincide/supa nigga #

billie holiday - speak low (bent remix) (from Verve Remixed Vol. 3) !
benzos - all the king's men
bobby conn & the glass gypsies -we come in peace

Why is there a naked guy drinking tea at the table?

1/19/06
Show: Loto Ball, Grace Kulpa, Lord of the Yum Yum, and Black Bear Combo
Cost: $5
Things I missed to be there: Iunno.

Reversible Eye is quickly becoming my favorite place to see shows in Chicago. Then again, I haven't been going to shows as much as I should be. Last week I missed out on shows at Betty's Blue Star, Underground Lounge, Beauty Shop, and South Union Arts. Our omnipresent friend Party Steve moved to Portland months ago. He came back to visit a week or two ago and he was telling me about party spots I'd never even heard of before. Magical Forest? What the fuck is that? South Union Arts has been putting on all kinds of shows lately and I still haven't made it out to one. The Orphanage is holding occasional shows as well as a weekly open mic/jam for the burning man rave hippie set. For nearly a year, The Studio (formerly the Heartland Studio Theatre) has taken over the Fireside Bowl's gig of holding nightly all-ages punk shows and I still haven't made it out. For even longer than that, any poet worth their shit in this city has made it out to the Lyricist Loft. Not me. Sigh.

Why do I love ReversibleEye though?

1. It's a gallery that actually functions as a gallery instead of just a place to see shows.
2. It's a gallery that currently has puppets and dolls.
3. They're regularly holding interesting shows there, mixing music and performance art.
4. It's less than ten blocks from my house.
5. BYOB

So, um, yay. I don't have a point there. I totally lost my train of thought. Good for me. Blog.

When I first got there, Loto Ball Show was playing. Their mp3s they have online are all industrial-tinged waltzes and circus songs, but live they sounded like the soundtrack to a children's adventure film, as if Gogol Bordello had taken over Giorgio Moroder's soundtrack for "The Neverending Story." I could picture an adventure for each song. Flying through the air, running blindly through the woods as the light of day escapes. I don't know if that's what they were going for, but it was pretty phat.

Next up was, I beleve, was Grace Kulp. They were kind of a droney folk band so we all sat on the floor. I couldn't tell if I liked them or not. The final verdict was that I liked them but wasn't in the mood for them. They were very-goth friendly, right down to the singer's forced Peter Steele/Peter Murphy vocals.

Third was Lord of the Yum Yum (and his roadie, Maximum Happy). Lord of the Yum Yum was awesome. He's always awesome. Move along.

Ifihadahifi was supposed to play, but they got scared of the snowy roads so they hid in Milwaulkee and Black Bear Combo closed out the show. One by one, everybody in the room started dancing. "It's your bar mitzvah, Eric. Let's dance!" my roommate yelled. It wasn't Klezmer, exactly, but very old world Eastern European and very funky. I'm glad to live in a city where we have such a glut of bad ass marching bands. Next time someone starts badmouthing the Windy City you tell them that. And look at the fun, blank stares they give you. Good times.

against all odds [WLUW]

frank zappa - cucamonga
the shadows of knight - bad little woman
sebadoh - brand new love
tortoise & bonnie prince billy - thunder road#

king god - morning sky#
billy nayer show - mama hen
grip weeds - waiting for a sign
j.o.y. - sunplus (d.f.a. remix)

sound directions - the funky side of life #
mike boo - curdled #
dosh - rock it til the next episode

ham 1 - wrong way marshall #
single minded pros - feels so good (w/ earatik statik & pace won)
del psychos - sick and tired of people

brian wilson - good vibrations
dj signify - peekadoo part 3
dirty dozen brass band - feet can't fail me now

stoat - boys and girls !
belly - dusted
einsturzende neubauten - kalte sterna
karmelia's game - crazy girl

puffy amiyumi - december
fitness & runway - smash your mirror
las malas amistades - el country

handsome boy modeling school - if it wasn't for you (w. de la soul & starchild excalibur)
moonpedro and the new farm street orchestra - birthday #2
albert ayler - our prayer

the smiths - william it was really nothing

mats gustaffson/sonic youth - hidros 3 (track 3)

I Don't Wanna Get Buried in No Jew Ass Cemetary

So I just got my third tattoo. It's a boy with a jetpack. The art was done by this guy Tom at No Hope No Fear. The design is his, influenced by Dick and Jane books, based on a drawing by my girlfriend, also influenced by Dick and Jane books. It was my first tattoo done at an actual shop, as opposed to somebody's house. Lets take a look down memory lane.

2002 - Mikhail. A version of my hebrew name that I used to tag all over the city. I was named after my great-grandfather, who brought the family to America. Some guy's house in Arlington Heights.
Music playing: A NoFX greatest hits cd

2004 - The 32 tiers of the sephiroth (tree of life) down my spine. The 32 stages of meditation between manhood and godhood. I'm still on stage one. Some guy's house in West Rogers Park.
There was no music. I watched Insomniac,Chapelle's Show, and Adult Swim

2006 - A shop in Wicker Park. Because of a broken iPod we were at the mercy of the very-limited cd selection in the shop. We listened to a cd by 16 Horsepower, which was good (especially so for a Christian band) and an album by Coldplay (which was not as bad as I'd suspected it would be, although some songs were)

fake ass punk gangs

So apparently, there are exponentialy more official punk crews than there were when I left high school five years ago. At the turn of the century there were only two big crews (although I'm sure that a number of northwest side fringe groups will argue that distinction): the 77s and the CMS kids. CMS stands for Chicago Mafia Skins. Ben Stupid told me years ago that he was there when the idea for CMS was born. It was in a church basement in Evanston, where the Mushuganas or someone was playing, and in between bands some skinhead kid was asking, "Wouldn't it be cool if we had a gang? We could call it, like, the Chicago Mafia Skinheads or something."

Soon after, sharpied CMS tags started appearing on lamposts, windows and bathroom walls on Belmont. I don't know if this is really how it happened or not, but it seems about right. The CMS kids weren't Nazi skinheads (anyone remember being able to use the term Bonehead?), but a fair amount of them were racist. They weren't Trads either, though they uniformly dressed the part. Pretty much, they were thugs. They got drunk and fucked people up in groups.

The 77s were pretty much the same thing, only back in the day they dressed like English punk rockers did back in 77. Crass and Pistols. Stretch pants, spikes, blah blah blah.

In 2000, I only remember seeing pockets of 77 kids now and again, spunging on the street. The CMS kids (and Chicago skinhead numbers in general were dwindling)

Well, apparently, they're back, and they aren't primarily 16-year olds anymore, and they're calling themselves gangs. Somehow, whenever my friend Karlye has a party, the 77s take it over. Last week she had a couch thrown off her balcony, the time before she got punched in the face, and the time before that a whole bunch of little things got fucked up or stolen. Somehow, she has yet to figure out who keeps inviting them. Somehow, in 7 years of regularly throwing parties with over a hundred people in attendance in various parts of the city, I've never had a problem with them.

I think I figured it out: I have a lot of black and hispanic friends. This could be a specious argument (i.e. I've never seen a tiger by a BP station, therefore tigers must be afraid of Venezuelan crude oil) but I just don't see these fuckers when there are a fair amount of blacks or hispanics around. This brings up the first point, on why these guys can't be real gangs.

1) Gangs can't be afraid of people based on their skin color. Sure, a gang can be racist, but they can't be pussies.

Howsabout another?

2) Real gangbangers have either much better or much worse weapons than switchblades, especially polished, ivory-handled, engraved switchblades. Use more lead pipes and mack-10s.

The third point, came out of a session with one of my tuttees. We were arguing about the punk scene in the better Chicagoland area, and the 77 kids.

"They're like a real, punk rock gang," he tells me.
"No they aren't," I (masterfully) countered.
"Yes they are, they really fucked this one guy up I know badly."
"Okay, lets talk about real gangs. Shit that's organized. I don't know if there are still Vice Lords around but lets say that I'm a Vice Lord and you're a Vice Lord."
"Okay."
"I'm not gonna go and fuck you up...because I'm drunk or BORED, because that would cause ripples throughout the organization."
"Oh, yeah. I guess you're right."

So he agreed with me, or wanted me to shut up. Either way I won. So if these punk crews aren't gangs, then what are they?

FRAT BOYS

That's right, run of the mill oafs. Trade white hats and Aeropostale for back patches and liberty spikes and whaddya got? A frat boy who couldn't make it through high school.

I'm gonna make my point in a way that's fun for me, but a bit of a reach for you. Are you ready?

There's this sketch comedy show that hasn't been on in years. Upright Citizens Brigade. It's awesome. It should be on all day. That and the State. Well, in its first season, there's an episode based around the Greek Fraternity System. Throughout the night, dudes trae high fives and yell, "Chumbawumba, man!" "You know it, Chumbawumba."

Okay, so the show was made in 1998; usually they avoid dated references but this one was apropos. If you don't remember, Tumbawumba were a group of anarchists who reached unexpected heights of one hit wonderdom, when they're song about drinking with the boys and "pissing the night away" became an omnipresent hit. The song was on every station. It was kinda rocky, kinda dancey, hell when one of the guys was talking it could've even passed for hip hop. It was the song that would have people yelling at parties, and it completely ruined Chumbawumba's carreer (which is fine since they kinda lost their integrity by signing to a major after bashing it for so long, and kind of a shame because no one's going to care to listen to the cool albums they did with The Ex or Negativland)

Anyway, I'm at Karlye's house, and I'm pretty sure that everybody there that I don't know (and some of the people I do) are all douchebags or teenagers. I step in off the back porch where a bunch of kids were having an outdoor singalong, into the kitchen where there's a flank of 77 kids by the window.

One of them slaps the other ones hand and goes, "GG Allin."
The other one responds in kind, "Fuckin GG-fuckin-Allin, man!"
And they do this for, I swear, five fucking minutes, and each time, GG Allin's name is funnier than the last. Weird. I saw this once before, again with 77s, different kids but again in Logan Square, and the word was "bukakke."

So there you have it. Problem solved. These wannabe punk rock gangbangers are all just frat boys. Now, how is it we take care of frat boys again? Outside of not going to their keggers, of course.