joygasm

Date: 2/17/07
Location: Ronny's Bar
Bands: The Catburglars, Herc, Totally Michael
Things I missed to be there: Pommel, Winters in Osaka, and Metaphysical Playroom at Morpho; Bobby Conn and Bird names at Empty Bottle; Ulele at Martyr's; Arbiter, Chicago Thrash Ensemble and Tower of Rome at People Projects; Roth Mobot at Hotti Biscotti; COMA 9 with Lilli Carre and more at The Occidental Museum; Uffie at Sonotheque
Things I probably still could've gone to but missed because I'm lame: Afterparty with Livewire, Rayalin3, Trancid, and Mr. Bobby
Things that I intended to do but forgot about because I have the memory of a squirrel: Living room fort-building ar Mister Sarah's
Reasons for going: I loved Totally Michael the last time I saw him, I'd never seen Herc, and I'd already missed The Catburglars the night before

It's good to see that Ronny's is throwing shows regularly now. It looks like they've hooked up with the MP Shows cats, who are a bitch to work with but know how to utilize a venue. As a venue, Ronny's is pretty good one. From the front, the place is pretty unassuming, just another old man bar on California Avenue. They've got PBR cans for two dollar and a jukebox full of classic rock and mariachi jams. They also have a big spare room, a lot or a beer garden or something, with an old tiki bar that's been converted into a sound booth. The last time I was there, Totally Michael was playing as a part of the Mauled by Tigers Fest, which was put on by (no shit) Mauled By Tigers, which joins Everyone is Famous and the Chicago Suicide Club for a triumpherate of hipster Chicago websites that are just slightly too New Yorky for me to feel completely comfortable with. The crowd at both sides was pretty NY, too (a lot of expensive fauxghetto-fauxdesigner ugliness, mixed in with Matt and Kim backpatches). The show that day featured Totally Michael, and was one of the happiest things I've ever seen.

Totally Michael is a scrawny white guy from Bloomington, Indiana who swears excessively and plays music on his laptop and guitar. He sings songs about the epic choice a girl has to make between becoming a cheerleader or joining the drill team, and an alternative to punching walls to relieve stress that involves popping balloons with your butt. He is undoubtedly the cutest thing I've ever seen, and the music can back it up. I wish we had him ten years ago so we wouldn't have had to pay attention to Atom & His Package, which is the closest comparison I could make. If I had seen him at 18, he would be my favorite artist in the world. I would cross state lines to see him and I don't know if that's what happened but he had a huge following for a guy who's only played the city a handful of times. At the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if they are all just new fans. I saw him once, and have been proselytizing about him for months. By that same token, I feel like I'm being excessive and maybe redundant, and also, possibly, redundant when I'm praising someone, so I think I'll move on and talk about the other bands now.

As many times as I've seen Lord of the Yum Yum, I've never seen his band Herc. Herc has made a name for themselves by playing fierce rock on unconventional instruments (like an accordion and a child's drum set) in ski masks and matching suits, and for their unparalleled silliness. The set opened with a synchronized dance full of jazz hands and air humps, set to the song "Whatever Lola Wants", then the set started and continued until Mike fell ill. While Herc left the stage to deal with their cramps and stage, Metal Porpoise emerged. Metal Porpoise is a two-person black metal band, known primarily for their matching outfits and their hatred of Herc.

"Fuck this silly shit. Our songs are about hate!"

I'm paraphrasing but that was the extent of their set, played on electric bass and a child's toy drum set. For a novelty band, I must say that I've seen worse. They trashed and left the stage just in time for Herc to return and finish up the set.

The first band was The Catburglars. They sounded like a bunch of kids my age who, like me, listened to Guttermouth ten years ago, gave up the band for better music and then realized, fuck all that serious shit. They played irreverent rock and roll. Rawk even. Rawk and rails songs about wanting to be John Goodman and being old at 24. They were decent, but as far as silliness goes, the young band was waaaay outclassed.