Brazilian Ukrainian Sweatlodge

Date: 9/21/07
Location: Empty Bottle
Bands: Juiceboxxx, Bonde Do Role
Cost: $12
Drinks: $2 Point
Things I missed to be there: MOTO and the Cola Freaks at the Lucky Gator Loft; Rollin Hunt, Pillars and Tongues, and John Bellows at Mister City; ESG, Yo Majesty, and Bahamadia at The Abbey Pub; Orphan Works with the Anatomy Collective at MoJoes Hothouse; Mucca Pazza with Obelisk and MC Cat Genius at the Hideout; Smash & Crunch featuring Passions, JoJo, Lance Milk, and Mr. Automatic at Liar's Club
Reason for Going: I like Bonde Do Role so much that not only did I pay the exorbitant (for me) cover charge, but I backed out of a low paying gig to do so.



While you could time your watch to houseparty DJs playing Justice's "D.A.N.C.E" at midnight like this year's "Sexyback", more and more you could hear Bonde Do Role tracks snuck in, as the new omnipresence. At this point, you could hear them anywhere, on college radio and cable TV bumpers, with the pitch cranked up to a million for maximum jukin' or going their own pace on my Mom's iPod. They are one of the dumbest bands of the year and one of the best. With Lazers is incredibly fun, and as baile funk goes, kinda lowest common denominator. It's incredibly, idiotically profane party music, but because Portuguese barely registers to me as anything more than rock'n'roll gibberish, the jokes don't wear thin, and I don't have to worry about Bonde Do Role turning into the next Fannypack (remember that band that did that song "Cameltoe"?).

I wouldn't have expected the Empty Bottle to get such a kick out of three kids and a laptop, but by the end of their set they had a whole sold-out crowd dancing, or at least jumping up and down. Their set was everything good about their album cranked up. There were even more iconic samples, ranging from the intro to Europe's "The Final Countdown" for a remix of "Gasolina" to the bass and "uh huhs" from Grease's "Summer Lovin" for "Jabuticaba" from one of their singles, to a shit ton of Slayer, and I'm not sure but it sounded like all those 80s metal guitars had been re-recorded and done louder. Then there was Marina Vello humping everyone on stage, moaning, screaming, rapping like a mongoloid, spitting blood, stripping, and grinding in the crowd like the Brazilian love child of Karen O and Peaches.

The whole time, it looked like the band was having fun. "We tried to make it nice for you," Marina announced, referring to the balloons and streamers they'd decorated the stage with and proceeded to rip apart. Pedro D'Eyrot and Rodrigo Gorky attemped (and failed) to come up with synchronized dance moves on the spot and looked on with glee as they miked themselves popping balloons with cigarettes.

The Empty Bottle can get so pretensious that changing the space just that little bit with the dollar store party decorations makes it approachable enough for people to stop fronting and get stupid in indie land.

Juiceboxxx ends up transforming the space with his entire set which, for the most part involves him climbing on every climbable thing in the room and then rapping on top of it. I had my doubts about whether his act could translate to a real venue but he kicked the Bottle's ass and was the perfect hype act for Bonde Do Role. He had people dancing on one side of the room, and then tensing up whenever he came over. They liked him and they were afraid of him, because they didn't know what he was going to do, he was shirtless and sweaty and looked like he could give two shits about someone's personal space. It was as if, because, as a skinny, whiteboy from Wisconsin, he was never going to be intimidating (and possibly doomed to be adorable), he would do the next best thing to scaring people by making them uncomfortable. It was an interesting thing to see, and if I'd thought it up on my own, I never would've thought it would have gotten people to dance.